I am just trying to graduate with a PhD. So I went to a conversion exam today and it SUCKS.

okay...if you actually understand then, fine. if u dont, it doesnt matter. it's just a vent.

it started with a 15 minutes presentation involving 52 slides, with interjection of questions during presentation. along the presentation i was randomly asked to clarify some terms, like what are my samples and what are the mechanism involved in toxicity (incidentally, not relevant to my study). of coz i dont know how to answer the mechanism of toxicity but i just briefed them what does my statement means. after that, the bombing begins, i was asked abt my objectives of study, and if i have completed them (yes i did) and then, they asked my why i use ready-to-eat cereals and not follow the Food Act definition LAW of PROCESSED FOOD instead. so they said my TITLE is wrong. (my impression was clear that ppl who comments on the title means they couldnt find any other things to comment on).then.... they moved on to COMMENTING on the samples and said that if Bacillus cereus were so common in milk or fried rice, why NOT do milk or fried rice. i explained that the research was funded by ministry and it's to assess risk related to cereals and apparently, they said i was wrong. and said that i dont have the ability to THINK. (a good retort would be, them not having the ability to hear nor think).

it went on to other non-related questions which I really couldnt remember anymore, because i brushed them off as it is NOT relevant to the field that i am in, FOOD SAFETY. and i was asked what is the SOURCE of contamination, which i discussed that there are probable sources/factors that affects the enumeration but i did not look into identifying the source because it wasnt in the objective. so if it's not in the objective, then shud I have the answer? NO.. and thus, the second conclusion of them saying that I'm stupid.

AND THEN, in my proposal, i said a survival study shud be carry out to understand the risk relevant to storage period, and i dont know why i was told to analyze the INGREDIENTS of cereals. i defended it that this is a risk study on consumption of cereals products and consumers, eat the entire cereal products and not one single ingredient separately. and then, i was told "MY DEAR, YOU NEED TO DO ANALYSIS ON INGREDIENTS TO IDENTIFY THE PROBLEMS. This shows me that your mentality is not a phd material and u r just a junior researcher mentality.' of course i tried to defend myself, and it failed.

then the inevitable question came, what is the general hypothesis of your research? godness. f*ck off with hypothesis. i braved myself and said that THERE IS NO hypothesis in this research, non-relevant, but 4 associate professors said THERE IS A HYPOTHESIS IN EVERY RESEARCH. and i said it is to see whether the spores are prevailing after the processes and I WAS WRONG in hypothesis identification because, if that is the hypothesis, then my entire research is wrong. i was told that to prove that hypothesis, i would have to do a study before and after the industrial processes. Yeeaaaahhh...

other (harsh) questions asked was "what are your excellence?", "why do you need to convert?", because conversion are only applicable for special/extraordinary cases, which they dont see it in me (yes, they said that to me to my face).

'what are the reasons of you asking for the conversion and WHY must we give it to you?". unfortunately, I dont know why i almost cried when answering this question. i said, i am serious about getting this phd and i can work for it. if u ask me what are my incentives then i said next year is my mom's 60th bday and i dont wanna be in postgrad school anymore, and it's just an incentive to do go all the way for her. that's all. and they laughed at me. sigh. i'm so embarassed.

and then kena again "this is your last chance to prove yourself. what are your contributions to food safety?" and as i answered, dr 1 turned away from me and laughed while dr 2 tried not to laugh, dr 3 was just looking away and i dont remember what dr 4 said.

inevitably unnecessarily humiliating myself, finally dr 1 ended it saying "we've heard enough from you and we will finalize with gso and a report. we will get back to you in due time.'
from the looks of it, of coz i failed.

i hate them now. i'm torn between cussing them into oblivion, or graciously forget about it. I think because I'm a woman, i have the rights to go ahead and vent out.

the bloody fudging committee has reached the decision of failing me before i even started. the main point of me being there was just to torture my ass, made me wait for 2 hours for their excellency to arrive, interrupt me during my presentation, and finally insulted my incentives/objectives on why I wanted to get a PhD. oh well. good lesson anyway.

Well, one thing GREAT about this is that, even THEY failed their professorship because THEY arent that great after all! HAH! SCREW YOU!

It's a Sunday, the 2nd weekend of the year. I've not done anything to help myself get started with a better life and worse, I've just bought my 3rd pair of shoes this year. I went to Berjaya Time Square yesterday to exchange my shoes for a bigger size and a different color, and ended up grabbing another pair of funky shoes (to me) at RM19 (after the 50% discount). It's a curse to my pocket.

My trip to Korea/Beijing now seemed like it was something that happened so long ago. I could never pinpoint my exact sentiments on the trip, it was neither the best time of my life, nor it was the worst ever. But I am not looking forward to visit these two places for a variety of reasons one of it being the financial factor. I spent a total RM5000 and gained 5kg on this trip for the 12 days I was there. Unbelievable.

I didn't particularly enjoy the Chinese cuisine in China. My first meal in China was bad because I ordered the hotpot salted chicken and it looks more like "Salted Chicken Bones" to me, and first impressions are always important. After that, I was more conservative in my meals and sticked to some fast food options like Japanese food and KFC. hah. For my last meal, I decided to go all out and looked for the best place to have the infamous Beijing Duck. It costs me RM70 for that dinner and ... I'm still reasonably grossed out from the amount of OIL on the duck which contributed to my weight gain. So, I stereotypically judged Chinese food (in Beijing) is very unhealthy and it's just wayy too salty and oily.

The year of 2008 feels like an important year for me. My 'intuition' tells me that this year, I've to do "something" or it'll be never. Though I havent quite figure out what exactly is the "something" that I have to do. As far as I'm concerned, it definitely has NOTHING to do with relationships. Most probably career or financial development.

Eventhough it's the 13th day of the year, I ended up still procrastinating my analysis on my research results that I have obtained since November 2007 and I deserve nothing but DEATH for this. I've promised myself, that I should finish up the analysis and write up a paper/publication for this part of research. Also, to lose the weight I got from the stupid trip last year.

It wasn't available online but I think this is absolutely required. So i'm posting it here, so that when people GOOGLE it, they can find that THIS IS A SCAM. I hope you haven't paid the USD950 for 'handling' fees yet. Lucky thing I noticed.

ELSEVIER:
BUILDING INSIGHTS; BREAKING BOUNDARIES
MANUSCRIPTS SUBMISSION

On behalf of all the Editors-in-chief of Elsevier Journals, we wish to communicate to you that we are currently accepting manuscripts in all fields of human Endeavor. Authors are invited to submit manuscripts reporting recent developments in their fields. Papers submitted will be sorted out and published in any of our numerous journals that best fits. This is a special publication procedure which published works will be discussed at seminars (organized by Elsevier) at strategic cities all over the world. Please maximize this opportunity to showcase your research work to the world. The submitted papers must be written in English and describe original research not published nor currently under review by other journals.

Parallel submissions will not be accepted. Our goal is to inform authors about their paper(s) within one week of receipt. All submitted papers, if relevant to the theme and objectives of the journal, will go through an external peer-review process.

Submissions should include anabstract, 5-10 key words, the e-mail address of the corresponding author. The paperLength should not exceed 30 double-spaced pages including figures and references on 8.5 by 11 inch paper using at least 11 point font. Authors should select a category designation for their manuscripts (article, short communication, review, etc.).

Papers should be submitted electronically via email in Microsoft Word attachments, following the instructions for authors on the journal's webpage • Include a cover sheet containing corresponding author's name, affiliation, mailing address, phone, fax number, email address etc.

Would-be authors should send their manuscript to: elseviereditors.desk@hotmail.com

Kind Regards,Peter Throwher (Prof.) PS: Pls show intrest by mailing elseviereditors.desk@hotmail.com if your manuscript is not ready but will be ready soon.

2 more days and i'll be on my way home...



i left Beijing and went to another small Chinese city, Weihai that turned out looking pretty decent until some incidents happened. At the international passenger terminal, i was approached by a man asking if i'm carrying any liquor or ciggarettes to Korea when I stared at him blankly as I couldnt understand what he said at first. i then explained i was frm Malaysia and he still persisted on asking the questions which I declined in helping him to carry any of the mentioned items. he did, went off, telling his friends outside the terminal, about where am i from, and asked if i need a tour in Weihai. there's just no way i would go anywhere alone with these people.



i sat there and took out my book, reading it for the 3rd time this trip. he came around again to ask about Malaysia and somewhat to understand my command of Chinese. he concluded that i have a good understanding of the language and welcomes me to China and walked off... I guess that's good. I decided to change my seat so that I would not be so easily harassed by strangers, but before i did that, i headed to the ladies whereby I found two other ladies were following me to the washroom trying to initiate a conversation.



i ignored them and went about my business and return to a new feng shui seat. one of the lady that followed me to the washroom sat next to me, reading what i was reading. so, i just shared the book with her without showing any interest in chatting with her. after she gave up, i went to the counter to get a cup of coffee, which i was approached by that counter lady to carry items across the border. i declined but she tried convincing me the 'security' of the items. they would pay rm200 to help carry the things into S. Korea.



i, of course, declined, and the counter lady, brought her ally, which was the other lady tat followed me to the washroom earlier. both of them tried to convince me that the liquor, chillies and herbs that they want me to carry is legal. no thanks. right even before i boarded the ferry, another lady came over and asked if she could borrow my boarding pass to buy some restricted items, but i just pretended i dont understand what she was saying.

alas, i was so relieved to be in the ferry, in my own bunk, although shared with another 3 other chinese girls, but there were pretty harmless. a man came over and talked to the guy sleeping on the upper bunk and suddenly sat on MY bunk and said he has something to negotiate with me. i said no, i'm not carrying anything for anyone for whatever the price. that's final.

finally, i reached Incheon, and then Seoul and stayed in the Guesthouse before heading to Suwon to meet my students. It's a relief seeing familiar faces. They planned a trip heading towards Gyeongju and Busan to visit Korea's historical site, and it was 4 hours away. Busan, the southernmost part of Korea has a very famous beach, Haeundae which I find it rather scenic but, although seaside is my favorite place, being there during winter is something really foreign to me.

We came back to Suwon on Sunday, and went to Seoul to visit Changgyeonggung and Namdaemun. Also went to Changgyecheon and there were Christmas decorations all over the city. That reminded me of Christmas in Singapore last year.

It's my last night for this trip and tomorrow morning, i will be returning to Malaysia. I have a list of things to buy and pack home. ughh...

i'll be home soon!

I blogged yesterday, after sitting an hour poking on my PDA and turned out, it wasnt publish coz the connection was shitty.
yesterday, i was at the Great Wall of China freezing my ass off. I woke up late... actually i didnt wake up until the reception girl came to my room and knock on the door. it was at 6.50am and we were supposed to leave at 7am. yeah.. i jumped out of bed and changed in the room despite my other two sleeping roommates. (to hell with modesty).

Great wall was INCREDIBLE. it's really the one thing that i know at least deserved the title "Great" with its name. I took a number of pictures. we were back in the hostel around 2pm which i realized i havent had my shower in more than 2 days. although hungry, i think hygiene comes first and I'm beginning to smell something really rotten in the room. so, i'm guessing it's me. wahahaha. stinky!! i took my shower in the men's room without realizing it. shit. i also used the men's toilet without knowing it. isnt that sad??

after shower, i ate at the hostel, and went out with new found friends to Silk Street for shopping and Wangfujing street for dinner & shopping. I bought 2 skirts for less than RM75, a Russian doll for RM 3.50 and all types of handphone accessories of Beijing Olympic 2008 mascot and a batch of supplies of hairclips and rubberbands to last me 3 years. I also bought a collection of badge for the Olympic games 2008 for RM15. it's the cheapest thing i can find from that authentic shop.

Today, i went to Forbidden City and walked around for 6 hours in the city and again, broke my leg. I took a LOT of photos... almost every corner... and my camera died on me at the final part when the Chinese army marched out of the Forbidden City, across the road (while entire Beijing was put on hold) and into Tian'anmen Square. I lost my handphone cover and 20yuan in the process running around and not realizing that i dropped things and gotten pickpocketed.

oh well.. it's alright i guess... i've gotta go and grab souvenirs and do some shopping before tmrw when i leave for Weihai and to Incheon on Thursday. And i shall remember to shower tonight, and tomorrow too.

yoohoo.. i'm finally in china after the gruelling 17 hours ferry, 4 hours waiting for my high speed train and 6 hours on the train. my god, i've been on the road for more than 24 hours and i'm cold, hungry and tired. Summary of experience:

1. God damn cold.
2. I lost my gloves
3. I finished my reading 2 books and still have to travel back to Korea (almost 40 hours) on Wednesday.
4. I should have chosen the real Korean food instead of the cheap ones, and just pay the bloody RM2 difference.
5. I will never eat any Korean bread ever again.
6. Ferry looks pretty classy until late at night, when the people went for their karaoke, drinking, and starts getting drunk and passes by you and give u a weird look. then when u are in the toilet, someone comes banging into the toilet and pee, and to come out from the cubicle was a drunk Korean man staring at you.
7. Korea is expensive.
8. I did the public bathroom thing.
9. China is windy, or as far as Qingdao is concerned. Chinese are pretty much a hostile race where i was kinda scorned by some other train passengers for taking up the wrong seat. my train was D54, and i sat at seat 54, while on my ticket was 76.
10. I have bad choice in my first meal in China.
11. Also experienced China at its worst, the toilets. EUUWW... I shall never eat for another day.
12. The Chinese have some serious spitting issues.
13. I understand why China needs to control the population now. See it to believe it. You only need to send those people in Beijing Station Subway to intimidate US instead of their military power.
14. Some Chinese guys in uniform really looked good.
15. I've been trying to speak Korean and Chinese but failing miserably.
16. I'm going to the Great Wall tomorrow at 7am, so I need to sleep.

I think that's all i can remember. Good night people.

Day 2 In Korea

The flight seems like forever because of the multiple transits. If I actually appreciate buildings and structure then it would be so bad. Unfortunately, I dont what i can conclude is, HK airport Wi-Fi is far superior than KLIA's but the ppl there sucks!
When i landed in korea, i came to realization that i've not been warm for more than 48 hours already. i'm pretty much in several layers of clothes and boy, when i went out of the airport, no one puts on a jacket faster than i did. in fact, i was the only one with gloves. was wondering if people here have hands of steel. althought, i got hold back several times by immigration at the airport.

the guesthouse that i am staying in is great. there are pretty much over friendly and i didnt talk to them, but at least i joined them by listening to their conversation. pretty much people from US being in Korea for the longest time.

anyway, i should be getting ready to leave for China. there's a little toddler here, staring at me going online. so, i'm just gonna leave the place and let her use it. :P

update soon.