I finally bought the book that I've been saving to buy.. Reef Fish Identification: Tropical Pacific.


Since my instructor, Beth, recommended the book to me, and I saw it for myself, I ordered the book online and it didnt reach. finally, i went to Kinokuniya Bookstore and bought it at a (slightly higher price). Nonetheless... it definitely is worth the while in helping me deepen my knowledge of fishes. It is so satisfying to be able to identify what you are looking at...

Now I know that this is specifically known as an orangespine unicornfish instead of a surgeonfish. :D Not that it makes any difference to anyone else, but it wasn't ever meant for anyone but for my self knowledge. :D HURRAH for the new book. Hurrah for more fun in diving.





One more day, and I'll be off to my next dive trip. I cant wait to see more underwater stuffs.





I'll pray for my safe return too.





YAY! Now, i need to pack my bags.

What could have possibly happened?

3 days ago, i broke the microcentrifuge machine in the lab. It broke after it went into a high spin and made a loud crack which then, something burst and smoke came out of the machine. Then, the next day, I broke the microwave in the lab. The gel that I put in to melt was screwed as usual, and the glass burst inside the microwave. I thought I should stay away from the lab today to prevent 'things' from happening so I went out for a movie, shopping and got stuck in the jam. Although I have done some shopping yesterday because I was a little depressed from breaking so many things in the lab, I couldnt help but to unleash my upset on retail therapy. I bought a black kimono fashioned top for 50% off and put it on today on my day off.

As the day come to an end, something peculiar happened. My nails were bluish black in color for some reason, like as if some powder/toner got onto my hands. Then my bags were bluish/black in color too. So I washed off and thought I must have leaned on something. Then I went into the shower, and saw it. MY entire top body was bluish black in color! it's the new kimono top i got from the shop yesterday! oh my god. So I quickly soak the top in water to find there werent any discoloration. Sigh.. I had to scrub for an hour to remove the bluish black sediments plastered into my every pores except on the part where I had my bra on. What a freak show.

I somehow think I should bleach myself just in case there's any carcinogenic dyes impregnated into my skin... since bleaching isnt very good, I shall go swimming and soak in the chlorine water for an hour or so, while I'm at that, I shall... exercise a little.

What's wrong with me?

I've just received news that one of my labmate's mother passed away. Such news brings about a lot of emotions that I prefer to not to face or at least, not try to relate to the feeling of losing someone you loved. It has been an upsetting day.

First, I broke the centrifuge machine. I dont really know what did I do, but I've already balanced the machine (to those who know what centrifuge machine is), and close the lid. When I run it, it spinned up to 13,000 rpm, and made a loud 'crack' and I quickly stopped the machine, but the smoke came out from the machine. So.. I made the annoucnement that I broke the machine. I didnt get any sort of berate from the others... lucky me.

Then, I've not been able to produce the results I wanted for my experiments. I must be stupid.

Oh well.. tomorrow will be a better. Fresh with no mistakes. :D

I woke up at 6 am today, so that I could get to the lab by 8 am. Why? to avoid unnecessary traffic. Unfortunately, I ended up waking at 6.15 am, dilly-dally and left the house at close to 7 am.

The good thing was, it's SCHOOL HOLIDAY! HURRAY! NO JAM!At 9am, there was a committee meeting on the workshop that we're organizing this November, and it ended at 11 am. I went to the lab and do what I do everyday: Confuse myself.

Something funny happened today. When I was trying to remove the stapler's bullet, the clip bounced into my shirt and got caught between my boobs and bra. When I tried to shook it off, it pricked me *there, and geez, what a sight. So there I was, standing in the student room, luckily with another girl around, and looking into my shirt/breast, to find that clip. finally, I had to put my hand in and searched around, jump up and down a couple of times and got the prick out of the way. Perhaps this could be an excuse to tell ppl that my breast size shrunk.
Oh well... another day, another event.

I hate it when life reaches a different stage. So much of uncertainties that it became so overwhelming to think about it. I guess somethings arent meant to be thought over. Probably that's why the phrase "Just do it" is so famous.

I finally submitted my thesis... h u r r a h. Somehow, I dont exactly feel overly excited about getting over this stage. Maybe my enthusiasm has mellowed because it took a week for some non-significant people to sign my form. So what's next? I dont know. Right now, I have to draft manuscripts and send it to some journals for review (which they keep rejecting). Other than the countless flaws, I supposed the main problem is the presentation of data and my lack of confidence that failed to convey a convincing work. So now, I am stuck at this stage, instead of working on my manuscript, I'm pouring my heart's content out here.

My next nearest holiday is in 11 days.. i think. As excited as I should be, I can hardly feel anything right now. I wonder if I have died inside from the crushing reality that got my soul beaten down? Do people really fall that easily? It's weird that you can actually break something intangible.

Sigh. My laptop is really giving me a lot of distractions.

I am supposed to be doing my work. But I got drifted away to a more adventurous imagination. I was thinking of my next big trip... which I think I would spend quite a lot of MONEY on it... and come back.. a poorer person.

I actually would like to visit the few SEA countries that I've not visited, like Myanmar/Burma, Laos... Phillippines and most of Indonesia is on the other opposite direction to where I'm heading, so I'll put that two aside first. Although I want to complete the travels in SEA, it seems to me that I wanted to see something else rather than completing my coverage of SEA. Weird. So, my next big trip begins at the city of Hanoi, Viet Nam. From there, I am thinking to go Taipei, Taiwan and head up towards Kaohsiung and towards Japan.. into Korea, towards Beijing. Then, from Beijing, down towards Lhasa, Tibet, and straight downwards to India visiting a couple of places, and into Colombo, Sri Lanka and finally, one of my dream places, Maldives.

After that, of course it's home. But... i think I might need to work more to make it happen. Then again, the conversation that I had with Grace the other day, sorta tempted me to visit US instead. hmmm...

oh well... let's see what happens.

People blog for a variety of reasons.

For me, I blog because I want to vent my unhappiness without needing to depend on anyone to listen to me nor causing them any depression from my venting. I guess it's just fair to blog it out and probably assume that the world is big enough to have a sympathetic reader to stop by and read your thoughts and understands what you're going through without needing to respond.

I am upset. I am upset because ...

- i ate durians and felt fatter
- i couldnt submit my thesis because it takes a week for some people to sign a form
- i have cravings
- time of the month?
- i'm broke
- my notebook is crashing on me
- i wanted a new desktop for designs, calculations, work, gaming, movies, photo/videos editing but i'm broke
- my FISH ID book didnt arrive and that costs me RM140.
- I lost my Magic-Filter that costs 25 sterling pounds.
- I cant write nor draft 3 publications for journals and I cant even handle a website
- I troubled others too much and it's upsetting them, thus upsetting me even more
- I realized something should be in the past
- it's not easy to move on when u've adjusted to a certain ideas
- I only hated because i liked
- nothing can turn back time and going forward is emotionally draining
- I cant see where i'll be next year.

Yes... grand opening of Olympics today. in less than an hour. Should I watch, or should i not?

I dont really know. i dont seem to be in the mood today for a variety of reasons. One of it, being them. another being me. and another being 'it'.

A friend of mine just convinced me to watch the Olympic Opening. So, here I go.

Another day to the auspicious date: 8-8-08.





It's probably also the day I submit my Master's thesis. How exactly do I feel about this? I dont know.





For the past entire week, I was waiting to submit my thesis, supposedly on Tuesday, which I couldnt get my third committee to sign, and postponed to Wednesday, which she wasn't free to see me, and today, which she forgot to bring my thesis along and point to me all my mistakes. Other than that, I supposed I could submit it tomorrow. If all goes well.





So what happens to life after this? Work. Time to earn some money and spend the money I earned. That's life. I've bought flight tickets for the family to go VietNam next year, and as excited as I can be, I need to get over the financial hurdle first.





There are quite a number of things playing in my mind; thesis, replacing my computer, my debts, my loans and my trip to Sipadan this month. I dont know if I should get another spare camera battery or an underwater camera filter. My Paypal account wouldnt cooperate and let me BUY the things i want. The book that I ordered online isnt here and I suspect it got lost or our KASTAM took it to educate their children. God knows. These people really dont respect other people's property. HELLO! I PAID FOR THAT! bastard.



back to life... while i try to SORT out the celestial clashes in the current month, I am currently depressed and have been stuffing my face to fight the 'down' syndrome. I shopped a little.. and bought a ring for the heck of it. I like it a lot though. :) Finally, something to cheer me up.