I wonder what would happen next?
It was in my plan, since the beginning, to buy my sister and mom a trip to Australia next year. However, it wasn't in my plan to leave the rest of the siblings out. Instead, I figured we should have another family vacation next year, and 'funded' by moi. it's not that I've striked the lottery but i think if i could make all my diving trips possible, why can't I spend some money for a family trip which will cost.. just a little more. Quality time.
However, I dont know if this is meant to be but I saw some pretty reasonably priced trips and I thought I SHOULD just go ahead and make the reservation. Unfortunately, my passport has expired and I need to renew it before I make the reservation by which, the problem is, I dont have any money now. Or until this month's allowance is given to us.
Even if I do have this month's allowance, I am still broke because I bought a new laptop to save my ass. I am in some sort of dilemma which I refuse to cancel off the trip because, I want to make it happen or die trying.
Should people really push themselves or just let it be?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Family...
is my number one priority. Arguments with my mom always hurt the most, more than anything in the world, and brings out the worst type of regret and sorrow ever. I come from a big family, when attention gets divided, its easily to get neglected and feel abandoned. The last time I argued with my mom..was last year.. today, my eldest sister has her turn of mother-daughter dispute which involves quite a number of issues. Point is... I'm just upset that both of them are arguing to the point of breaking apart, and I have never been good in handling relationship issues especially with my family.
Tough times indeed.
is my number one priority. Arguments with my mom always hurt the most, more than anything in the world, and brings out the worst type of regret and sorrow ever. I come from a big family, when attention gets divided, its easily to get neglected and feel abandoned. The last time I argued with my mom..was last year.. today, my eldest sister has her turn of mother-daughter dispute which involves quite a number of issues. Point is... I'm just upset that both of them are arguing to the point of breaking apart, and I have never been good in handling relationship issues especially with my family.
Tough times indeed.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Two days ago.. my laptop decided to crash on me. *sad. I have not finished my thesis writing yet. The worst thing is this happened when I finally got the motivation to FINISH it. It's so overwhelming. Even when I tried to re-format it, it still wouldnt run normally. There are some programs that cannot be run anymore, i.e. Internet Explorer and the speed gets disrupted when I transfer files from my hard disk to my pendrive.
Anyway, out of urgency, i bought another smaller laptop, Asus Eee PC. One thing good, it was on sale. One thing bad, I dont see myself liking this small laptop.
Beggars cant be choosers anyway...sigh. Like what my friend told me, "When your horse dies, it's time to get down and walk."
Anyway, out of urgency, i bought another smaller laptop, Asus Eee PC. One thing good, it was on sale. One thing bad, I dont see myself liking this small laptop.
Beggars cant be choosers anyway...sigh. Like what my friend told me, "When your horse dies, it's time to get down and walk."
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
i am probably crazy. these few days, i've been wasting my life away on watching Jdrama. in few days, i've watched Absolute Robot (Zettai Kareshi), Hana Kimi (twice), Nobuta wo produce, and now in the middle of "Attention Please". i dont really know how i watched it, but it revolves around on some fast forwarding.
anyway, today, we had lunch with Prof Kim and Prof Yoon. It makes me wonder... when can I ever finish my work and when WILL I EVER quickly get the motivation to finish my thesis? why cant i work on my thesis. even as i blog right now, my mind is nagging me about my undone thesis, and yet, my body refuse to turn to my left and look at the pile of journals that i have already standby for reading. I should take a shot of an aerial view of my room. ever seen a typhoon?
today's debate on the fuel price was irritating as hell. watching the BN candidate salivate like a freaking idiot, it looks to me, the one thing that was missing from him being seen to have epilepsy is he should be lying on the floor. Isn't it irritating? can't you just ANSWER the questions?
another irritating thing that happened was, this friend that i occasionally dislike (she always do something similar to my plans and 'beat me at my game' when i dont even know that we're actually 'competing'). like... when i said i am learning a language, she went for language classes too. and when i started diving and asked her to join me, she said she's not interested and 2 months later, went with a bunch of guys for a diving course. and also, when i bought my first underwater camera, she bought an underwater housing for her camera too. not to mention, when i said i'm going on a diving trip this year, SHE went on a diving trip spree. when i said i am doing my masters and am happy doing it, she suddenly decided (in few weeks) that she would plan to quit her job and join another friend to go australia to study. and when she found out i was planning to do my PhD, she told me, for the amount of years that I have studied, i would have gotten a medical degree anyway. i dont really know what's wrong with me to have consider a person like this a friend.
perhaps her wishlist is to get my life's plan and do whatever i have done or have plans to do. i feel that i'm being copied. i like being weird/unpredictable i.e. which to me, is a unique characteristic. i appreciate that value in me and i dont really care if anyone else finds me common/unoriginal. but WHY does a person like me, would need to have a copy cat doing everything i do and make everything that i put effort into, like my dreams/passions/interests/achievements look like something it can be easily done? i mean.. is it that fun to undermine other people's life? that being me is SO easy? and she can be HER and also be ME at the same time and that she's twice the person i am?
perhaps i should make a list for her so that she can tick whichever that she has done and i have not.
... and i thought i missed the old days we had with all the bowling games, drinks and food. forget it.
anyway, today, we had lunch with Prof Kim and Prof Yoon. It makes me wonder... when can I ever finish my work and when WILL I EVER quickly get the motivation to finish my thesis? why cant i work on my thesis. even as i blog right now, my mind is nagging me about my undone thesis, and yet, my body refuse to turn to my left and look at the pile of journals that i have already standby for reading. I should take a shot of an aerial view of my room. ever seen a typhoon?
today's debate on the fuel price was irritating as hell. watching the BN candidate salivate like a freaking idiot, it looks to me, the one thing that was missing from him being seen to have epilepsy is he should be lying on the floor. Isn't it irritating? can't you just ANSWER the questions?
another irritating thing that happened was, this friend that i occasionally dislike (she always do something similar to my plans and 'beat me at my game' when i dont even know that we're actually 'competing'). like... when i said i am learning a language, she went for language classes too. and when i started diving and asked her to join me, she said she's not interested and 2 months later, went with a bunch of guys for a diving course. and also, when i bought my first underwater camera, she bought an underwater housing for her camera too. not to mention, when i said i'm going on a diving trip this year, SHE went on a diving trip spree. when i said i am doing my masters and am happy doing it, she suddenly decided (in few weeks) that she would plan to quit her job and join another friend to go australia to study. and when she found out i was planning to do my PhD, she told me, for the amount of years that I have studied, i would have gotten a medical degree anyway. i dont really know what's wrong with me to have consider a person like this a friend.
perhaps her wishlist is to get my life's plan and do whatever i have done or have plans to do. i feel that i'm being copied. i like being weird/unpredictable i.e. which to me, is a unique characteristic. i appreciate that value in me and i dont really care if anyone else finds me common/unoriginal. but WHY does a person like me, would need to have a copy cat doing everything i do and make everything that i put effort into, like my dreams/passions/interests/achievements look like something it can be easily done? i mean.. is it that fun to undermine other people's life? that being me is SO easy? and she can be HER and also be ME at the same time and that she's twice the person i am?
perhaps i should make a list for her so that she can tick whichever that she has done and i have not.
... and i thought i missed the old days we had with all the bowling games, drinks and food. forget it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
I watched "Beauty and the Beast" musical with two of my closest friends from high school (for my birthday treat) and i gotta tell you, it was F A N T A S T I C!!!!!!!!!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT AND definitely looking forward to any other musical stage in the future.
I didn't love the audience though, because they were uncooperative and irritating, uncivilized and doesn't seem to understand simple English instructions like "NO flash photography allowed" or "20 minutes break" and not 25-30 mins break and walk around in the dark looking for their seats and blocking the view of the stage for the other audiences. I wish those who offended me tonight gets their camera whacked or just suffer so evil malady for giving me such a horrible experience on such a fantastic stage! how despicable!
I didn't love the audience though, because they were uncooperative and irritating, uncivilized and doesn't seem to understand simple English instructions like "NO flash photography allowed" or "20 minutes break" and not 25-30 mins break and walk around in the dark looking for their seats and blocking the view of the stage for the other audiences. I wish those who offended me tonight gets their camera whacked or just suffer so evil malady for giving me such a horrible experience on such a fantastic stage! how despicable!
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